REGULATOR.. Mount up!
Can you believe that a Ziggy comic just made me have a random thought that I feel compelled to write about?
After travelling a bunch lately and being pretty consumed with work, I'm back to reality (many reality checks later) and realizing that the recurring theme the last few weeks has been "regulating" or in other words, bluntly putting people in their place (both good and bad). I don't get how people have the audacity to think their actions do not have consequences and that I'll overlook that. Hello?! One word to you... NOT!
There's the guy I dated for a bit that had no idea what he wanted, asked for some time (a week) to figure it out, only to call me a month later which I obviously did not answer. To make matters worse, he proceeds to call again two months later to pretend that nothing happened and to then tell me things going on in his life. I guess he wanted to sound important and feed his own ego. Seriously oblivious, he asks when he can take me out. Without dragging the details out, I put him in his place real quick. IDIOT.
Then there's the guy that for as long as I can remember has insinuated all sorts of stuff via email, IM, text, etc. He's a family friend and I'm good friends with his wife. No matter how many times I told him to stop he'd continue to do it. The other day I had enough and again without going on and on, I put him in his place (threatened many things that seemed to have work.). IDIOT.
I did mention there's a positive side to this, so I'll go there. If you want the details to the deliberatly vague stories I just told, email me and I'll be happy to entertain you.
So, there's dating. I haven't been the first to embrace this for a while but lately, I'd have to admit I had been going on a bunch of dates and started losing track of why I had been dating to begin with. A friend summed it up the best, "When you date multiple people, you lose the special, giddy feeling of connecting with someone because there isn't anything distinct about any one of those people you're dating. They just become stories you tell your friends about and referring to them isn't by name. Their identities end up being based on their story - ie Marathon Guy." Not saying that I'm ready to leave my singlehood, but I think it makes me realize that I should be even more deliberate than I already am about how I spend my dating/socializing time. Quality over quantity.
Yet another thing I then thought of was "the list". It's that mental checklist that's always in your head with qualities/values that you'd never compromise. (And, yes, there's yet another checklist but that's the superficial "would be nice to have" type of stuff.) This list becomes more and more engraved into your mind every time you learn something about yourself from either a missed opportunity, a failed relationship, or a friend's shared experience. It's currently the list that's helping me keep my own perspective. It's how I regulate myself. Because of it, I'm finding myself being more and more careful with the decisions I make. The older I get, the more that these decisions will carve my future out. At first I thought it was selfish, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm again the only person that can influence my destiny. Screw the selfishness - I'm looking out for me! And to me, that's definitely a positive thing.
So whether you're regulating on people that come in/out of your life or yourself, keep in mind that being brutally honest is key. It may be harsh and you may have to be diplomatic sometimes, but being realistic over being polite is the only way to resolve the situation once and for all. In addition, it just plain feels good after all is said and done. And in the case you're the one getting regulated on, put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand where he/she is coming from (Common sense to you may not necessarily be common sense to the other person). For all I know someone's writing about me this very moment and I'm the one being labelled as the "IDIOT".
