Money Grubbers

It should be a widely accepted fact that all businesses are money grubbers, especially the entertainment industry. Profit's the bottom line, right?

The other day, as I was watching tv, I saw a commercial for Lea Salonga's first US tour. She's one of my favorite Filipino singers, next to Regine Velasquez. I still can't get over it though.

If I want to see Lea in concert in the city, it's anywhere from 35 bucks to 200 bucks, with the 35 bucks being in the nosebleed seats. So, basically, you're looking to spend anywhere from 65-100 bucks a ticket to see her (that is, if you can find the tickets). I could justify that for Madonna or Janet Jackson, with their intricate costumes and shows, but I just can't see Lea putting a performance on like that. Bleh.

Nevermind. I'll just dig up my 'Lea Salonga' and 'Miss Saigon' CDs.

A couple of weeks ago, while I was down in Santa Monica for work, my buddy Gerard and I met up for dinner to do the usual catch up. We talked about work, about snowboarding, about more snowboarding, and then relationships. He pointed out that in all the time he's known me, he's liked the fact that I could talk to him about people that are important in my life, whether it be my family or significant other. I, on the other hand, mentioned that every time I asked about his wife, he got quiet and didn't really say much.

Then, he started with his little lecture about how guys just relate differently than girls...

Even though he was quiet about his wife, it was coz he didn't really have much to say about it... he's not one to articulate his feelings too often. (Must be a Scorpio thing!) He went on to tell me how guys are more logical in conversations rather than emotional, etc... The whole time, all I could think to myself was, 'Is that a sentiment that they genetically implant into every male before they're born so that when they can get older they can tell girls to separate emotion from logic?'. The conversation went back and forth trying to justify the thought process. In the end, neither of us made any sense to each other. We got up and walked around more, only for me to see some window art, making me break into a fit of laughter. Definitely the highlight of that conversation.

I've already accepted that this will be an ongoing battle between the sexes so my response to that...

Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them. =P

Bleh...

After the last couple week's time down in Santa Monica, at the sales conference, being at Google Snow Jam in Tahoe, and my 10 year high school reunion, I came home to rest up and instead got sick. What makes it worse is that I've missed this week at work and now gotten two other people sick. Bleh... I guess I'll stay in my room quarantined. Sorry Beeker and Mykee! (Hopefully my roomies don't get sick, too!)

I wonder if it's coz I wasn't able to get a flu shot this year. =(

A couple of years ago, I had a recurring issue with insomnia and since then it's only been every once in a while. Lately, though, I don't know what it is. Maybe it was my super long vacation in Maui? Maybe I have too much on my mind? I have no idea. Last night, I was a bit tired after dinner so I took a nap. The nap went a bit too long and I end up waking up at midnight. (Bad idea to take a nap!) ... So around 2am, I'm starting to get real tired so I jump into bed to try and pass out. 3am rolls around and I'm still wide awake, but my body's so damn tired. I finally fall asleep only to have some really jacked up dreams.

Yes, along with this insomnia, I'm having issues with dreams. In the past, I rarely had any dreams and if I did, I barely ever remembered them. The ones I did remember ended up becoming real life or a warning about something that had happened already. In the most recent months, I've been dreaming a ton. I remember a lot of them too and they mostly all don't make sense, besides a few.

So last night, I think within the period of about 2 1/2 hours, I had three dreams that I can vividly remember, all pretty messed up. Could it be my subconscious acting out in my dreams? Bleh. I hate it. I can't control it either and it scares the crap out of me because some of the dreams involve people I really care about. I called Beeker to tell him and he reassured me he'd be extra careful today. It felt good to hear his voice.

I got into the office this morning and Kimmy could tell right off the bat that I was flustered. I told her the jist of what happened and she suggested that I listen to some calming music. All my classical music is at home so I asked if she had any piano music. She introduced me to Jim Brickman's music and it was a life saver. Thanks Kimmy!

It's a bit ironic that I have to battle the idea of insomnia and being scared to fall asleep because of these dreams. Bleh.

Helllooooo Nurse!

The night before I flew out of Maui, Wing was scheduled to fly out. Since it was his last day, we let him decide what we were going to do and we all agreed on getting some shaved ice, taking it to the beach and hanging out there to see a Maui sunset. It was perfect for a last day before he flew back to Seattle.

After we grabbed our shaved ice and did some shopping, off we went to Beeker's parent's favorite beach. I forget the name but I'll update this later when Beeker gets back. The sand was super soft and the beach was crowded but we were still able to find an area to make camp. We all jumped into the water almost immediately after lathering up the sunscreen. I got out of the water early so that I could lay out and take a nap. Wing did the same and Beeker decided to play some more in the water, only to be a bit envious of all the kids and their boogie boards. He jumped out and walked across the street and decided he'd learn how to boogie board on his own. The waves were pretty tough but nothing compared to the ones we had the first couple days of our trip. I woke up just in time to watch him catch a few waves and have a ton of fun. I wished my camera zoomed out that far so I could have taken pictures.

He decided he had enough and tried to get me out there but I was too comfy laying out and half napping so Wing decided to try it out. Right off the bat, he was kickin some @ss. Beeker and I were in awe, considering he was getting pretty beat up the first couple times we jumped into the water before. We even saw Wing throwing his hands up in the air, almost as he was screaming to the ocean, 'EAT THAT!'. Beeker and I were his cheerleaders. As we cheered him on, we noticed a pretty big wave coming at him (~15ft.?), but didn't think too much of it since he was doing awesome.

The wave hit him pretty hard and he fell off his board. I'm sure everyone heard us scream a bit, empathizing with Wing, for getting eaten up. It took us a few seconds to realize, though, that Wing wasn't doing too great. He couldn't really stand on his own and the waves kept bashing into him, making it worse. Beeker ran out first to make sure he was okay and the second I saw him start to carry Wing, I was running out there too.

We finally got him out to the shore on our towels and mats. He could barely lay down and he was in some major pain. We were able to get the ambulance out there to check him out and get him rushed to the island's only hospital. Fortunately, the people all around us were so nice and helped us out a ton with getting hold of an ambulance, being concerned, bringing ice, and even carrying him from the beach to the ambulance.

I can't even begin to describe the amount of concern both Beeker and I had for Wing, especially because we had absolutely no clue how hurt he was. After tons of tests and a bit of waiting, we were finally able to see him and found out he'd be okay. It was a relief to find that out.

In short, Wing's okay. He got a few compressed fractures in one of his vertebrae, which left him in the hospital for almost a week. He'll be wearing a brace for a while and taking it easy, but will make a full recovery after a few months. As of last night, he's been released and is staying with Beeker's parents in Maui until he's ready to get on a plane and home to Seattle. We all said it was Wing's ploy to stay longer in Maui for spam musubi. ha ha

Fortunately, Wing got hurt in a very relaxing and nurturing place for recovery. Just having Beeker's parents (his mom's a doctor and his dad is just plain too sweet) there to make sure he's okay is enough reassurance that he'll be home soon enough.

I went outside to drop off some mail this morning and couldn't help but notice the plants I had outside on my patio. The once so wilted and dried out leaves were green, alive and refreshed. All the cold, dreary, wet weather brought them to life and woke them up from their dormant hibernation. I've often looked at rain as something negative but someone once told me that he loved the rain. It made the air smell good. It replenished the earth and made everything green. What's bad to some may be good to others. I need to take that attitude in life - to make negative things into positive things, especially when it comes to relationships.

A relationship is a continuous learning process, especially when there's lots at stake. The moment I think I completely know someone, something happens that makes me realize that I'm still learning. The majority of the time, I'm learning about myself and how I handle certain situations. The worst is when I can't relate to the specific situation because I've never experienced it before. The unknown ends up scaring the crap out of me.

I think I'm a pretty in control type of person. I usually know how to handle my emotions and I don't trip out too bad. Lately though, I'm soon finding out that there's so much I don't know about myself. I usually haven't had to put myself out there because there wasn't a need for it. I guess I was never challenged in that area. Plus, who wants to be vulnerable or potentially hurt if you don't need to.

This past trip to Maui, I put myself out there. Not because I needed to, but because I wanted to. I opened myself to people I just met and it was refreshing and scary at the same time. I wasn't in control of myself and I didn't calculate each move I made, as I usually do. I didn't have a plan and I took each moment one step at a time. It was definitely a turning point in my life.

At first I freaked out. I got scared and I questioned myself and where I was going. I left myself very open and thought about just how much I had at stake. Emotion took over any type of logic I could have had (as usual). It backfired on me. The control I was used to having was gone and I didn't know how to get it back. I said things that didn't make much sense and I almost jeopardized something/someone that I hold the most value for in my life right now - my best friend.

Again, as I said, I'm learning. When I said I needed to learn to be patient before, I didn't realize the amount of patience I needed to have with myself and especially the people I care about. In time, I'll get there. I won't be so scared and hold back. I'll enjoy the moment for what it is and not look so deep into its meaning or what the future holds for me.

It's a new year and it's a new start. My jaded past won't get the best of me. No more insecurity and no more fear. One day at a time.. one moment and memory at a time. There's no rush.

Absolutely Random...

??? wtf?

I'm still at a loss of words. I don't know if I should laugh or be freaked out.

On the 3rd day of being in Maui, I got an odd voicemail from a San Mateo police officer telling me that they had a package on hold at the police station for me. Apparently, it was taken from a lady, who had just been apprehended for wandering around my neighborhood, one street over. My first reaction was that someone was playing a prank on me, but all the detailed information about the package the officer had left made it not seem the case. The next morning I called the police station back and informed them that I was in Maui on vacation and that I'd pick up the package when I returned. I also asked if I could speak to the officer that left me a message to get further information.

Just a few minutes ago, I got a call back from the officer.

Around 3 or 4 in the morning, some guys had called the police, reporting that a random lady was sitting in their living room, pretty disoriented. She thought she was in her own living room and had some personal effects with her, as well as a package. (I was expecting to receive the same package and figured that my roomies would just grab it for me when it came.) The people who reported the incident pointed the cops out to where I lived, where they tried to knock on the door but no one answered. Who would at 4am, right? So this lady... she supposedly forgot to take her meds and was just completely out of it...some sort of mental illness. The officer said she was harmless and not violent. She just didn't know what she was doing, nor did she know how she got that package.

I was scheduled to get the package tomorrow, but the officer said he'd drop it by tonight. Completely odd I still say.

serious Maui withdrawal...

* Love & Honesty by Hawaiian Style Band's been on repeat for the last two days
* staring at pictures from Maui, waiting for the guys to get back so we can compile them all
* about to watch 50 First Dates
* craving some spam/chicken/katsu musubi - almost ready to make some myself

Aloha!

Aloha! I just got back from Maui tonight and I already miss it, especially Beeker. I went from sunny tropical days to a cold, wet bay area. On a happy note, both my roomies were home and greeted me with hugs. =)

So many stories and pictures to update my blog with... soon!

Happy New Years everyone! (Better late than never..)