i walked into a room of darkness,
knowing i wouldn't be able to see what was in front of me.
i was scared to go any further
though something kept pulling me deeper.

i moved my hands around
and slowly took my steps,
afraid to be blind to what may come to me,
quietly hoping to find some sort of light.

it was then without any warning,
i felt warmth near my reluctant hand.
the soft tenderness that held it assured me,
i wouldn't be alone in this unfamiliar place.

you held onto me and led me around,
never needing to light a flame...
i forgot all about the darkness,
closing my eyes was just the same...

there's a place deep within your soul
that very few will ever find...
very few will ever enter...
and very few will be welcome to stay.

it's in this darkness... that you've become my light.
~tine~

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."


It's kinda trippy how life works itself out...

Usually, becoming genuine friends with someone can take a significant amount of time but on rare occasions, it can almost be instantaneous. Take this instance for example. Last Friday, Beeker had 3 friends arrive from out of town, two being really close friends of his - Mario and Sherryl. I had met Mario (from SD) a couple of months ago and hung out with him and Beeker one barhopping night and kept in touch with him online since then so when he arrived, we both felt like we had known each other all our lives. Plus, he had some doing with the present situation. (Thanks Hairy Cupid!)

Sherryl, on the other hand, came with her fiancee Wayne from Vancouver and this was our first time meeting. By the second day of hanging out, we were acting like we'd known each other for ages. Maybe it was all the funny stories she told me about Beeker. ha ha JK. From the Google picnic to sake bombing at Miyake's, to wandering around downtown Palo Alto, to wine tasting in Napa and veggin around while they were on vacation, a cute little bond was formed and I couldn't help but get a bit sentimental when it was time for them to leave.

Part of me feels like I'm stepping on Beeker's toes by befriending his close friends and the other part of me feels a bit touched for just being able to meet the people he holds dear to his heart.

This just pushes me even more to plan a trip to Vancouver/Whistler. I'll think about SD. *laugh*

Alicia Keys sure has a way of describing what I'm thinking...

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby...

Official... Mmm...

Congrats Google!

Happy day! The morning started with the Google IPO.

Most people ask me why I *heart* the bay area so much. Without even blinking an eye, I usually proclaim my fondness for the area because I just can't think of another place that could even closely compare. I didn't really come to this conclusion right away though. Like most people, I took my surroundings for granted. As with most things in my life, I've had to experience it myself to arrive at this realization.

For most of my life, I've lived in the Bay Area. (Some of my childhood years, I was raised in the Philippines.) I didn't leave it until college started and still then I was only 3 hours away in San Luis Obispo. I'd come home a few weekends of the month so I still didn't realize it would be a big loss if I moved away real far.

It wasn't until I graduated from college that the notion even dawned on me. I decided to take my first job with IBM in their Austin, TX office. I couldn't wait to see where this new adventure would take me. After about 10 months in a really cool city, but at a job I wasn't ecstatic about, the weekly calls to my family and friends started taxing away at me. I missed the familiarity of the bay area and I missed the comforts of home. All the phone passing at family parties I wasn't at depressed me and the small things that I used to once complain about with my family I actually longed for. Plus, seeing cars with mini golf sized dents all over from the Texas hailstorms freaked me out, as well as the usual thunderstorms. I welcomed the California earthquakes compared to these sky filled monstrosities.

In the short time I was in Austin, I got a few job offers. I finally decided I couldn't pass up on one of them and headed back to the Bay Area. Again, I started to take it for granted but soon learned my lesson after having to travel so much all over the country for work. There was definitely no comparison.

The Bay Area has so much to offer, more than I even realized. People that have transplanted themselves to the Bay Area are the ones starting to point out places I never even knew existed. It's the scenery, the places to visit, the weather, the people... the list could go on. Most of all, it's where my family is...where my heart is. I was and still am so spoiled.

I guess I'll continue this ongoing adventure - exploring a place I call home.

Dreaming Snapshots...

For as long as I can remember, I barely ever remembered the dreams I had while I was sleeping. I'd wake up knowing I had a dream but I could never consistently remember the details. If, in the off chance, I did remember the dream, the scary part is that most of them have told me something or have actually happened. And some, await their fate.

It wasn't too long ago, though, that I started remembering my dreams more. At Graham's suggestion, I started a dream journal. He said it was better than a blog because I'd be able to wake up, grab the journal, and start writing down everything I remembered. Then, I could even go back to it in the future and see what actually happened. Good suggestion.

The ironic part is that I haven't been able to use it. Typically, my dreams, like most other people's, have been stories. Lately, though, I've been having dreams that resemble snapshots of thing happening around me. It's almost like I've been looking through a photo album or even watching a slideshow in my dreams so there isn't one continuous story - just a bunch of them going on simultaneously that I get quick glances of. I'm finding that it's even more difficult trying to remember all the different snapshots now so that I can jot them down in the journal. Back to square one.

Yesterday, somewhat last minute, Beeker invited me to a game of poker with his Canadian crew. We'd been watching a bunch of celebrity poker showdown so I was down for a game of Texas Hold 'em. For my first time, I think I did okay. I lost twenty bucks but at least I learned I need to work on my betting and bluffing skills.

It's always refreshing to meet new people, especially ones that are so welcoming into their circle of friends. I can't wait to play again.

Usually once a quarter, we have a work offsite. With my team, however, it's usually isn't once a quarter because the team's pretty busy and it's hard to find time to get everyone together. So today, we finally were able to have one, thanks to Goldman and Ev's planning. It would be a day at the park to bbq as well as a kickball game to decide which movie we'd see afterwards. It was a perfect scheme to get people into the kickball game. (Disclaimer: If we didn't play hard enough, we'd be doomed to see Princess Diaries 2 - Kimmy & I didn't mind ha ha). Team Manchurian vs Team White Castle. The kickball game was too much fun. I think the last time I ever played was in grammar school, though. I was on Team Manchurian, thinking White Castle would be a DVD movie for me. We were kicking butt until the last inning of the game, when Team WC caught up and won. Blah. Fortunately, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle was pretty funny. I think the highlight of the movie for me was seeing Harold & Kumar sing like Jerry Maguire to a Wilson Philipps song.

Beeker introduced me this UK show, Coupling, a while back by burning me a copy of one of the episodes. For some reason, though, each time I watched it, I'd always fall asleep. I guess it was coz I'd watch the show late at night all the time. I think he probably thought I didn't like the show.

On the contrary.

While I was sick a few weeks ago, he brought by the first season since I was stuck at home resting up. We got through the 6 episodes and it was starting to warm up to me. I could kind of see why he said it was really similar to Friends. Last night, we decided to start watching the 2nd season and this time, it was so much more different. It wasn't like the first season, where they were busy trying to introduce and distinguish each character. Though I've only gotten halfway through the second season, I'm starting to finally see how the characters all interact each other. Each episode finally started having you either relate with each of them and/or the dilemmas they all face. If you haven't seen an epsisode before, definitely check it out. The third season is currently being shown on BBC so you don't have too much to catch up on.

A mysterious surprise...

When I got home from work today, I did the usual things. I threw my bags in the kitchen, grabbed some dinner and checked the answering machine. I noticed a box on the couch that resembled the type of box you get when someone sends you flowers. I thought to myself, "Damn, my roommate got flowers again.." I grabbed the box to put it on the coffee table when I noticed they were for me. Someone got me flowers? *doubletake*

I brought the box up to the kitchen and opened it up, only to find a note with the flowers but it was unsigned. The note thanked me for being there for the person this past weekend, thanked me for being a friend, and wished me a wonderful week. I thought back to the weekend and realized I was mostly only with the girls and Beeker, as well as Nina and Albutt at the concert.

What a strange surprise. I guess I'll just have to enjoy the pretty lilies downstairs now.

Hopefully I solve this little mystery.

Update: I had a feeling that the flowers came from either Lori or Ei-lun, two of my sorority sisters visiting that weekend. We had all gone bar hopping Friday night in the Mission. These two drunkards decided they wanted to drink but just happened to forget to eat dinner so Beeker and I end up taking care of them. I talked to Lori on the phone and it wasn't her. I left a message with Ei-lun only to find out the day after that she was the one that sent the flowers. She thought your name would automatically be added to the note. The mysterious surprise was cool while it lasted. I'm still enjoying the pretty lilies though. =)

You may think I'm a bit weird but I've never posted to Craigslist ever... part of me thought I'd be opening my world to the crazy people I fear. I've only had to find roomies once so far and I got lucky that time to find them but this time around, I considered Craigslist. With Beeker's guidance last night, I was able to post my first post to try and fill the vacancies in my house. So, again... if you know anyone looking for a room to rent in San Mateo, pass this info along. (I'd include the craigslist URL but it'll keep changing everytime I post.)

~~

2 bedrooms in my townhouse have recently opened up and are available to be moved in September 1st. I'm looking for like-minded, responsible people that are down to earth and dramafree. Females preferred. Smoking outdoors only please and no pets allowed.

The House:

* ~ 1360 sq. ft townhouse - 3 BR/2.5 Bath (3 floors with bedrooms on the top floor)
* 3 years old
* Bay Meadows development in San Mateo (centrally located on the peninsula to 101,92,and 280)
* 3 blocks from Hillsdale Caltrain Station offering Baby Bullet Express service to SF or SJ
* 1 minute drive from Hillsdale Mall
* Walking distance to Whole Foods, Left Bank (French), Yan Can (Chinese), Pasta Pomodoro (Italian), Starbucks, Pete's coffee, library and Gold's Gym
* DSL/wired ethernet to each room
* Fully applianced kitchen (gas stove) with corian countertops
* Hardwood floors on 2nd floor, carpet on 1st and 3rd floors
* Washer/Dryer
* Central AC/heating
* Large enclosed patio in the front of the house
* BBQ friendly balcony in the back of the house
* Across the street from a huge, well kept park
* Plenty of street parking

The Rooms:

* (1st room) 9 x 12 with one window and silhouette coverings
* (2nd room) 9 x 11 with bay window and silhouette coverings
* Closets have sliding mirrored doors
* Ceiling fan in each room
* One bathroom will be shared between the two rooms

About Me:

I'm a young professional that enjoys the night life as well as hanging out at home. I don't tolerate messy people but I'm also not a neat freak.

$750/month for each room or $1400/month for both rooms plus utilities (gas/electricity, water, garbage, DSL, cable).

Pictures available here.

High School Serenades

I remember every summer in high school. School would get out and we'd look forward to the middle of the summer when KMEL had SummerJam at Shoreline Amphitheatre. The performers sang a lot of the slow jams they played on Lovelines. I usually fell asleep listening to them every night. It was so different then. Tevin Campbell, Troop, Mint Condition, and Riff would serenade us with such sweet romantic songs.

Today, I was so happy to be invited to see Summerjam again. (I didn't even know KMEL still had Summerjam!) Albutt had two extra tickets and invited Beeker and I. How sweet of him! All I could imagine in my head were the fun memories from high school.
We got there in time to see Boys II Men perform, though they were missing the guy that sang Bass (Sad..I didn't get to hear "Injection fellas..."). Nonetheless, they still did great and still have what it takes. I got to also see En Vogue, LL Cool J, Too Short, and a bit of Mase. I think we ended up missing Toni, Tone, Tony and Monica, along with a number of other performers.. =(

Overall, I still think it wasn't the same. The crowd this time was a lot more ghetto, the music didn't serenade me, and they rushed through the acts. I almost even got into a fight with a mom that was sitting behind me with her kids and I even saw the other mom next to us rolling up a fatty J.

I wish I could go back in time and relive the Summerjams from high school.

It was the music. It was the naive giddiness that the songs left in pit of my tummy whenever I heard them. I can maybe think of a handful of songs that come even somewhat close to those songs right now. Instead, the radio's full of songs about bumpin' and grindin'.

Maybe that's why I barely listen to the radio anymore.

Congrats Lori and Tony!

Last week while I was sick at home, I got a call from my college best friend, Lori. After all these years of being with her boyfriend, Tony, he proposed to her a couple of weeks ago by romantically writing it in the sand. How sweet. I'm so absolutely ecstatic for her. To add to the tears of happiness, she continued the conversation by asking me to be one of her bridesmaids. We always talked about this in college, but I never thought time would fly that fast.

Part of me is so used to taking care of Lori. All through college, I whined about how much of a brat she was, but deep down inside I loved watching out for her. It's a good thing that she has such a good guy that now takes care of her. She's up here this weekend visiting and I can't help but be nostalgic and emotional. I definitely missed her.

I know for fact that til I'm old and grey, I always know she'll be my shet-talkin' sidekick and that no matter how much time has passed, we'll always be able to pick up where we left off (just like this weekend).

Congratulations Lori and Tony!

Again, a few days have passed and I haven't had the urge to blog at all. You'd think that being gone for a week at work and being completely disconnected from the world would make me absolutely anxious to get back into the swing of things. Blah. Maybe it's the meds. Luckily, today's my last day of meds and now it's just a matter of getting over this weird rut.

To update, I'm back to finding a new roomie. Errr, make that two new roomies. Within minutes of sending an email out concerning the room for rent, I get a call from one of the girls also telling me she's moving to the south bay to be closer to her job. Talk about timing. If any of you know anyone looking for a room to rent in San Mateo, send them my way! (Responsible, genuinely laid back and dramafree people need only apply.)

Outside of that, despite being really tired, I'm restless right now. I'm so in the mood to go out all of the sudden.

So I got a call from the Helpdesk on Friday. They weren't able to recover a single file on my hard drive and replaced the whole thing. There goes a bunch of work files, a ton of mp3s, and almost a year's worth of pictures. =( It's easier to accept after Beeker says, 'Oh well, time to make more memories...'