I'm back as of yesterday afternoon (yes, I spent an extra day out there to hang out with the girls) and man, I felt old around my sister and the rest of the youngins. LOL Overall, it was a great weekend and for once, I wasn't in the mood to gamble. I'm not sure why either. Hope you had a good time Runt!

Everybody have a great weekend! I'm off to Sin City!

Vegas Baby..Vegas!

It's starting to rain here in the bay, but oh well..I'm off to Vegas this weekend for the Runt's bday shindig... oh yah, it's only Thursday.

3 pixels of fame...

Check out the current edition of Newsweek on the newsstands. The cover story is on Google and there's a picture with me in it..a whole whopping three pixels big.

Update: Eric posted the Newsweek picture of us. He added a bit more detail to his post too. For all of you that grab the mag, we're on page 50 in the small picture taken in the Cafe. Thanks dude!

Identity Compromised?

Just recently, I made a comment to a friend about a fear I had. I don't want to lose my identity by being in a relationship. He said to me that he'd never heard anyone ever say that before but that it was the perfect description to a really common dilemma in most relationships.

In the times that you're single and uninvolved in your life, you have to learn to enjoy being by yourself. You pick up new activities. You cherish the time you spend with your friends a lot more. You learn to *heart* alone time.

A few years ago, I got out of a pretty serious relationship and had to learn to be on my own. I was so accustomed to having someone there with me all the time. In hindsight, it had to be the best thing I learned about myself. I learned to enjoy spending time with myself. I could be walking/people watching, wandering Barnes & Noble reading, or even sitting in my room doing my nails or watching tv. It was absolutely great not having to consult someone else's schedule. Better yet, I didn't feel guilty for being selfish. (Yes, I know it shouldn't be that way but it happened.)

This went on for a while. I learned to be very autonomous and be really content with it. It changed again, though, when I got into a serious relationship with someone else. There wasn't as much time to do all the things that I enjoyed doing on my own. The 'we' part of the relationship was great and I was head over heels in love with him, but I couldn't help missing some of the things I grew so accustomed to. I missed being selfish and making sure I was taking care of me.

People say that you're supposed to walk away from a relationship with lessons learned. About yourself. About other people. About what makes you happy.

Recently, I learned you can't compromise your identity. It's what defines your soul, your inner being.

Wouldn't it be great if the relationships you made in your life genuinely fit the identity you've learned to love within yourself?

Most things I write about in my blog are personal, but not the touchy kind of personal. Nor, do I really choose to openly share to the world about these aspects of me. A good example of 'touchy personal' is religion. If you're not one to like reading about religion, I suggest you stop reading now.

Most people that are really close to me know that I'm Catholic, born and raised. For the most part of my life, until now, it was something forced upon me. I didn't choose it. There were even points in my life when I started doubting my faith, because I hadn't chosen it. At the time, I figured it was a 'habit' I formed, just like the rituals and sayings that were performed in a Catholic mass.

Stand. Sit down. Kneel. In the name of the father....

Did I really mean all these things that I said? Was I there because I had been there all my life and knew nothing else?

I always asked myself these questions, especially when people asked me about religion. Even until recently, when I decided to head back to the Philippines for my cousin's wedding. Every time I'm back in the Philippines, I'm always there to see my family. It's a time to go catch up with people and places that bring back sentimental value to me, as well as my family. During my trip, there were so many times that we stopped by random churches. To me, I was somewhat irritated because I was on vacation. Plus, it wasn't Sunday most of the times these random visits occured. I absolutely dislike (almost hate) it when things are forced upon me.

My last straw came when we went to this church in Baclaran. For as long as I can remember, we've always visited this church each time we were back in Manila. The area isn't the greatest in being safe. Parking sucks. My mom always reminds us to be careful with our purses. There's a ton of people everywhere in this area and worst of all, it stinks! I thought to myself, "All this to visit a church?" I still went to visit though. I sat in the church on a pew with my parents and aunt. There were so many people praying, especially in the middle of the week and in the middle of the day. Maybe my mom could tell I was irritated but she asked me if I knew why we visited that church so often. I said no.

Your grandmother (she passed away while I was in high school and I was really close to her) used to come here to pray all the time. One day her doctor had diagnosed her with Cancer and said that she wouldn't be able to have any more children. She had only had three kids at the time. So she went to Baclaran to pray that she'd get better because she wanted to have more children. She didn't want to die. She continued to pray there on a regular basis and one day she got on her knees and walked on her knees in the midst of all the people there down the center aisle, all the way up to the altar. She got to the front of the church, still on her knees, when everything started glowing. After a bit of fear, she went to the priest to tell him about the glowing. He advised her to keep praying for whatever it was she was asking for because it was a sign. A few months later, her doctor told her that the Cancer mysteriously disappeared and that she was getting better. She also ended up having four more kids, your uncles. That's why we come here all the time. We say thank you for giving us our family.

By this point I was a bit teary and emotional. I thought about all the other things we did as a family, that I never really gave thought or care about. It all became clear.

Being Catholic wasn't just a religion to me. It wasn't all the rituals of mass and all the things they forced upon me in Catholic school. It was my family and the source of individual happiness and console in the low points of my life. It was where I ran to whenever everything was falling apart in my life. It's what brings my family together and how we interact with each other. It's how I want to see myself interacting with my future family.

Bragging Rights

I just got back from having dinner and from shooting pool with a really long-time friend of mine, Mykee... I've noticed that no matter how much time has passed and no matter how long we haven't hung out with each other, there's always a time when one of us will call the other person to shoot pool. We never play for anything really material. We play for fun, it's always 9-ball, and we always play for bragging rights. Tonight happened to be a night where both of us were off our game. We were missing simple cuts, the rail shots, and just being plain odd about our shots. We hadn't had a drink so we blamed it on being completely sober. A round of drinks later, we're finally starting to play and improve our shots and finally it's 2-2. Tie-breaking game. In the end, Mykee walked away with the bragging shots, especially since he got some crazy hard last shot it. Fine. *pout* Good game. *still pouting*

Happy St. Patty's Day

I barely knew it was St. Patty's Day tomorrow until someone at work reminded me.

After work today, I went to stop by my uncle's house to visit my 5 yr old cousin and this was his 'grown-up' update on his life:




tine: So, how's Kindergarten?
Adrian: *sounding like a stressed adult* I have so many projects.
tine: *laughing* Really? What projects are you working on now?
Adrian: I have to catch a leprechaun.
tine: How do you catch a leprechaun?
Adrian: They only come out at night so my teacher said we have to check the classroom for a leprechaun early tomorrow morning, in case he got stuck in there tonight.

The Two Christines

Tonight, I had dinner with the other Christine and two of her roomies. Can I just tell you?! Christine can cook! It was a great dinner with good conversation and lots of fun playing cards and 'Sunka' (spelling?) . It's definitely what I've needed lately.

talk about random IM

kimmy: i'll teach you about puppy farts
kimmy: you teach me about tiffanys

almost like working from home...

With all this great weather lately, I've been more than happy to spend lots of time outside to enjoy the sunshine and blue skies. This afternoon, after being on a roller coaster of emotions, I had the urge to work from the balcony of our floor. They added tables, chairs and umbrellas just recently so what better way to enjoy the weather?!? (I'd post a picture but silly me forgot my USB cable for my camera) Possibly Kimmy's blog for pics?

All's that's missing is me sitting at home in my pjs!

The weather is absolutely fabulous outside and I had a really good weekend hanging out with friends I hadn't seen in a while...

You'd think I'd be super excited but today at work (I was ready to go over my workbooks and finish some homework), I dreaded going to class tonight. I missed 2 classes in Chinese (Mandarin) because of my vacation to Asia and I missed way too much. I tried to catch up this weekend but by 2am last night, my right hand was half dead from writing in my character workbook.

*mental note* Do not sign up for a class that's 3 hours long and meets on Monday nights, especially for a language class. You'll practice during the class and possibly the next day but forget everything by the time Saturday comes along... *end mental note*

So it's official, I've dropped my class and I have no idea what the full reason is.. maybe it's coz i missed those classes? Or maybe it's because I picked the worst night to have a 3 hour class during the week? Or even maybe coz this class reminds me too much of someone..?

Whatever it is... the only thing I know is that it gives me more time to enjoy the nice weather outside!

the same name... continued...

I finally met the other Christine XX and she's so absolutely cool! We went over the past 20 years and talked about where our lives are now.

There's lots of insight to her and though our conversation wasn't in depth, I have this feeling that she's gone through a lot in the past. I could be wrong but it's just a feeling. We have lots of similarities, especially our love for cooking. I'm sure she'd kick my butt anyday though! *laugh*

I was also able to meet her roomate, who was just as down to earth and friendly. Overall, it was a great experience and I'm glad I've made new friends....especially one with the same name as me. =)

My heart hurts tonight... earlier, I was so happy to meet the other Christine.. now, just sad because I feel like I've lost my best friend... my heart's torn and I don't know how to mend it...

the same name...

Wednesday morning at work, a guy (Doug) came our cube area randomly.

guy: is there a Christine XX here?
me: yah, that's me.
guy: my friend at church has the same name as you.
me: wow, is she from south san francisco?
guy: not anymore, but yeah.
me: *tells the ice skating story*
guy: oh gawsh! i have to call her to tell her!
*guy leaves*

The ice skating story is pretty funny, especially since I always tell people about it. You see.. I was about 7 when I went to Fashion Island Mall to go ice skating with my family. I didn't know how and my parents just shoved some skates on me and told me to have fun. So I'm on the ice battling the crowds of people skating around me, holding onto the rails for my dear life. I get the courage to let go and skate a bit. I go one direction and in the corner of my eye I see another girl coming towards me. She's learning like me and can't stop just like me. We collide and hit the floor. We somehow make it to that little hump on the side of the ice where you can sit and rest.

me: Are you okay?
girl: yah.
me: Sorry!
girl: Sorry!
me: What's your name?
girl: Christine
me: me too! What's your last name?
girl: XX
me: me too?? *weirded out* What's your middle name?
girl: Elaine
me: *pheeew* okie, you're not me. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

All my life, I've always known she was out there so I always used my middle initial. I always told people this story, too! So yesterday morning, Doug came back to my desk and said he talked to Christine and told her about how we worked together. He even mentioned that recently she was wondering about me and wanted to get in touch with me. He gave me her cell number and told me to call. We got in touch yesterday afternoon and laughed about the whole thing. What a trip. What are the chances right? 20 years later and we're laughing about it... She even lives in the same city as me! It'll be fun to meet her one of these days.

Happy 21st Birthday Runt!!

For all of you that don't know who the 'Runt' is, it would be my younger sister... I have no idea how I even started calling her this but somehow it stuck and the rest of my family/extended family got used to it, too! So to the Runt, no more being 'christine' at clubs and no more having to go into places separately so that they don't know we're using the same ID (*laugh* I feel really old right about now!). Have fun and don't do too much damage to your liver tonight...we still have Vegas at the end of the month! Then you're dead!

Passion..

I just got home from watching The Passion of the Christ
... no words to describe how I'm feeling right now...

I'm back..yipee! Actually, I got back late Sunday night and was too lazy to update my blog...figures.

Thinking back on the trip, I wish I didn't have to leave Boracay. It was absolute paradise ...white powder for sand, sunny blue skies, crystal clear water, massages on the beach, yummy food stands, cheap fresh seafood, fresh fruit shakes, beautiful sunsets, perfect relaxation... it couldn't have been any better than that. =) Those three days in Boracay were the only days of relaxation I had on this trip to Asia. Everything else was a hazy blur jumping from plane to plane and driving all over the Philippines.

I'll have to further expand in another post on a few spiritual moments I had in Asia...

In the meantime, here's some pictures...